33 Years

It's literally insane and categorically mystical to me; I'm 33 today. 33-years-old! What does that mean? I remember turning 16. That was like a billion years away/just yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, I went to the DMV. I renewed my drivers license and it's a milestone in a way. Applying for a new license makes you think back about how you got where you are. How did I get where I am? Baffled. Grateful.

Speaking of "Baffled. Grateful." I've been in this constant state of awe and gratitude and wonderment for the past couple of days. What is my life!?! I'm so lucky! I love my job! I love me. I love the person I'm sharing my life with! I love waking up in the city where I live! I love having people who love me for me! I'm so blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed.

And speaking again of yesterday, I was thinking just yesterday "if I die, I don't care. I don't care because in this moment I'm happy and complete and fulfilled and honored to have lived the life I lived and to be the person I am and to have everything I want right now."

I look back and wonder if past lives were all leading up to this moment, like I was a poor woman in Tibet who's life's lesson was to let go of other's approval and seek my own bliss. And that I was a Scottish prisoner of war in the 18th century who lost family because I was too prideful to acknowledge that everyone wants to give and receive love no matter how resistant they appear. And that the culmination of all these lessons have propelled me to this very instant. Am I making sense? Probably not, but like I said: I'm in this life. I've been Wyatt for the last 33-years. I was born in Provo UT to two young beautiful parents who just wanted the best and wanted a simple life and they got it. I have three siblings and they are golden and they are much more strong and ethical than I could ever begin to emulate.

I have a niece who is perfect and lively and has a burst of zeal in everything she does and it's like I've known her my whole life but she's two-years-old, so that's not really feasible.

Whatever my life is, whatever it has been and will be, all I want to establish is that loving hard and loving good and loving beautifully and loving with bliss and with gratitude and bewilderment is all anyone needs in order to be complete. Just love. Love everything and anything.

My birthday wish is to embody love everyday of my life. And if I fail, then I love the fact that I try.